Consider this: You’re at an information booth and the gentleman/lady manning the counter is of little help. And you want to scream at them, “So who should I ask?” when your inner editor goes, “Should it be who or whom?”
I know, frustrating.
So the next time you feel stumped by the who or whom conundrum, try these quick, easy tricks:
Who is a pronoun used in the subject position. Who is driving that car?
Whom is a pronoun used in the object position. Here is the man with whom I would like to converse.
Answer the question posed.
If the answer is “he”, “she”, or “they”, you should be using who.
If the answer is “him”, “her”, or “them”, whom would be the correct choice.
Who is the girl in the yellow dress? She is the girl in the yellow dress. Correct.
Who cracked the code? He/She/They cracked the code. Correct.
For who are these flowers meant? The flowers are meant for her/him/them (not him/her/they). So, incorrect. Here, whom should be used.
Whom are you meeting? I am meeting him. Correct.
Whom should we invite to dinner? We should invite them. Correct.
Whom are the neighbors? They are the neighbors (not the neighbors are them). So, incorrect. Here, who should be used.
So, back to our very first question:
Who or whom should I ask? I should ask him/her/them. Thus, the correct choice would be whom.